Entries Tagged 'Text' ↓
September 26th, 2008 — Comedy, Pictures, Text
Too hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.
I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting….
I think I am good on the phone and I do no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen get a job thru my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can discus wat jou want to pay me and what you think that I am werth,
I can start emeditely.
Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYANnickname Beefy
PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is pickture of me
Employer’s Response
Dear Beefy - I mean Bryan.
It’s OK honey, we got
SPELL CHECK!!!
See you Monday.
July 30th, 2008 — Humor, Text
At Age 4 …. Success is …. Not peeing in your pants
بعمر 4 سنوات ……النجاح هو أن لا تبول في ملابسك
At Age 6 …. Success is …. Finding your way home (from school)
بعمر 6سنوات ..النجاح ..هو ان تعرف طريق المنزل (من المدرسة)1
At Age 12 …. Success is …. Having friends
بعمر 12 سنوات …النجاح…هو حصولك على اصدقاء
At Age 18 …. Success is …. Having a driver’s license
بعمر 18 سنوات …النجاح…الحصول على شهادة سواقة
At Age 20 …. Success is …. to be loved
بعمر 20 سنة …النجاح هو …أن تحب
At Age 35 …. Success is …. Having Money
بعمر 35سنة……النجاح …الحصول على المال
At Age 45 …. Success is …. Having Money
بعمر 45 سنة …النجاح …الحصول على المال
At Age 55 …. Success is …. Having Money
بعمر 55 سنة …النجاح …الحصول على المال
At Age 60 …. Success is …. Having love
بعمر 60 سنة …النجاح هو …أن تمارس الحب
At Age 65 …. Success is ….. keeping a driver’s license
بعمر 65 سنة …النجاح…الاحتفاظ بشهادة سواقة
At Age 70 …. Success is …. Having friends
بعمر 70 سنة …النجاح…هو حصولك على اصدقاء
At Age 75 …. Succes s is …. Finding your way home (from anywhere)
بعمر 75سنة ..النجاح ..هو ان تعرف طريق المنزل(من اي مكان)1
At Age 80 …. Success is …. Not peeing in your pants
بعمر 80 سنة ……النجاح هو أن لا تبول في ملابسك
July 29th, 2008 — Humor, Text
Man asks doctor: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
A man who surrenders when he’s wrong, is Honest.
A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise.
A man who surrenders even if he’s Right, is a Husband.
Why men do marriage?
Because after his death if he go to heaven he feels new and change; if he go
to hell he should feel home.
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
The world’s thinnest book has only one word written in it:
“Everything” and the book is titled: “What Women Want!”
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the
Other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, “I’ve found a man just like father!”
Mother replied, “So what do u want from me, Sympathy?”
What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
